Worst Cologne Ever—Plus 4 of the Best

Dutch artists Lernert Engelberts and Sander Plug (known collectively by Lernert & Sander) have a habit of making statements that are somehow subtle and over-the-top at the same time—like composing a delicate lullaby by honking car horns, or finding creative ways to crack eggs in epic slo-mo. Usually, these take the form of short films, but in the case of ‘Everything,’ above, their meticulous art also has a very tangible outcome: A 1.5-liter jug of cologne, consisting of almost 1400 samples of 2012’s fragrances mixed together.

We’re not sure if there’s a higher meaning here…so we’ll just run with our own interpretation of this liquid work of art: Don’t be too-much-cologne guy. Choose a signature scent that works for you (like one of the picks below from the new issue of GQ), and please, apply it in small amounts. A dab will do. Anything more is akin to cracking an egg with a hammer.


The Gentleman Biker. Tom Ford’s patchouli-based (but not at all hippie) Noir makes sense for a man who’s on a first-name basis with both his tailor and his motorcycle mechanic.” —GQ
[Shop Tom Ford Noir]


The All-American Everydude. Enjoy football, everything Jay-Z does, and Gosling films that aren’t The Notebook? Bright, earthy, orange-laced Terre d’Hermès is your finishing touch.” —GQ
[Shop Terre d’Hermès]


The Clean-Cut Peacock. Prada’s new Luna Rossa packs an extra-fresh hit of lavender for the kind of detail-obsessed guy who knows the difference between pomade, paste, and styling clay.” —GQ
[Shop Prada Luna Rossa]


The Style Blogger. Own a double-breasted jacket—with a camo print? Floral scents like Dolce & Gabbana’s Pour Homme are the next big fashion-forward thing.” —GQ
[Shop Dolce&Gabbana Pour Homme]

 
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[Video courtesy of Lernert & Sander on Vimeo, via Selectism. Fragrance illustrations by Esra Røise, courtesy of GQ.com. GQ text altered slightly.]

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