Brideology: The Ceremony

Bride-to-be Cara shares the details of a big wedding milestone: writing the ceremony.

Writing blog posts is one thing…writing the ceremony that will bind you and your partner forever in front of all of your family and friends? A little different!

Even though it’s an intimidating task, we are crafting our own wedding ceremony, and it’s actually turned into a really good experience. We decided to have a family member officiate, so we’re drafting up what we want her to say and will fine-tune it together. Honestly, I love having control over what it will be like—no surprises!—but most of all, I like how it has forced us to take a break from planning the party, and focus on what the wedding is really about.

At first, we didn’t even know where to start. How do you just write a wedding ceremony?! What has to be in it?  Then one of my friends gave me about 25 examples of different types of wedding ceremonies (that she had received from her officiant)—a huge help!

We printed them all out and decided to make it into a date night, getting drinks at our neighborhood coffee shop and reading the ceremonies, highlighting what we liked.

Beer for him, giant hot cocoa for me!

From there, we pulled our favorite phrases, vows, readings and traditions into a Word doc and started to arrange it into sections. I felt like I was in high school learning how to write the 5-paragraph essay: intro, paragraph 1, bullets a, b, c, transition, concluding sentence…whenever I felt disorganized, I actually did start putting things into outline format!

It takes a TON of thought. How serious or funny should the ceremony be? How religious or agnostic? How emotional? How long?

When we asked ourselves these questions, we tried to answer from the perspective of what WE wanted, not just what we thought the audience would want. I have to admit I’ve seen a few ceremonies where the bride looks like she just can’t wait for it to be over, or the groom doesn’t think any of the jokes are funny. While it should be entertaining for the guests, the ceremony is, of course, for us: what words do we want to hear in that moment? What memories do we want to relive? What advice do we want to receive? Those are the things that will make it most meaningful to us, and I think our family and friends will recognize and appreciate that.

HeroCozy night: Writing and planning with a favorite wine.

After several nights of working on it (and with the help of a glass of wine here and there), we’re getting pretty close to being finished. It came down to a few simple themes: We feel so blessed and grateful to have each other; we are thankful for the support of our family and friends; and we’re just really, incredibly, super excited! I think it will feel great to communicate these things to each other and to our friends and family, and know that all the words we’re saying came from us.

Until next time,


P.S. Details on THE DRESS coming soon!

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